Jay Shetty’s Think Like A Monk Unfiltered Thoughts Pt. 1
Welcome back, fellow self-development nerds! In the previous article about mindset, we talked about how important it is in our lives, what science says about it, and how this one book “Think Like A Monk” by Jay Shetty approaches the topic of self-development. This article is an extension of that and is Part 1 in the Think Like A Monk series where I:
- Go over the individual chapters inside the book
- Share my learnings from the book
- Share key takeaways so you can gain value without even reading the book
Once again, if you need context, go back to the previous article which is really an introduction to the world of mindset and how we can transform our lives using it.
Think like a Monk — Unfiltered and Summarized
Chapter 1 — “Identity”
Who Am I?
Who am I?
Chapter one in Think Like A Monk is all about finding your true self. Realizing your identity and using it for good. Jay Shetty summarizes it perfectly in this line — “Our identity is wrapped up in what others think of us — or, more accurately, what we think others think of us”.
The majority of the time, people spend becoming what they think others would appreciate them for. We live in that idealistic impression of what another person likes and so we spend countless hours trying to mimic that projection. In reality, by doing this, we stray further and further away from who we actually want to become.
Society wants us to be fitter and have that lean, muscular body — so we spend hours in a gym to realize that ideology. It’s perfectly okay to work on your health and become fit. But when we start over-thinking about and think that the whole process is to actually satisfy what society demands of us, then that starts becoming toxic and unhealthy. The bottom line is to work on what You want to become and Not what someone else wants you to become.
Favorite Quote:
“I am not what I think I am, and I am not what You think I am. I am what I think you think I am” — Charles Horton Cooley
Favorite Exercise — Audit your Time
Spend a week (or less) tracking how much time you devote to the following:
- Family
- Friends
- Health
- Self
The areas that you spend the most time on should match with what you value the most. If they don’t, then you’re doing something wrong and you need to reflect on that.
Chapter 2 — “Negativity”
Emojis representing Negative emotions — By “Hello I’m Nik” // Unsplash
Chapter two focuses on reframing our minds in order to challenge negative thoughts and reframe them with positive ones. Jay uses the everyday analogy of gossiping — the center-piece of the modern world. Our society thrives on gossip. Talking shit about someone else (for whatever reasons) somehow offers us this sense of gratification that we don’t get from other things.
Jay relates it to the three basic human emotional needs — Peace, Love, Understanding — In the case of negative emotions, they spring up from our conversations, emotions, and actions.
TLDR — a fear that bad things will happen (when you lose peace), the fear that no one loves you (lack of love), and the fear that you’ll be disrespected (loss of understanding). By reframing these three objections with positive thoughts, we will be well on our way to having a negativity-free mindset. Do remember that negativity will continue to exist for as long as we live.
For me, negative emotions present a challenge that needs to be overcome — it gives us direction and when we’re self-aware that we want to overcome them, we try different strategies and techniques. If we think we are perfect and IF there comes a time when our minds become completely negativity-free, we lose that sense of purpose. Our whole life becomes directionless. So, my friends, focus on treating negativity as a challenge, not as something to rid your mind of.
Favorite Quote:
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything — anger, anxiety, or possessions, we cannot be free” — Thich Nhat Hanh (The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching)
Favorite Exercise — Reverse Envy
This exercise will help you erase envy from your mindset. Envy doesn’t just exist in front of “supposed enemies”. Sometimes, it’s our friends that increase it.
To start, make a list of five people who you care about and who are super-competitive, in your perception. Come up with at least one reason why they are that competitive and why you’re envious of it. Visualize the positive steps that they take that bring them results and see if you can try them.
Chapter 3 — “Fear”
Evil Forest — Fear from the Dark
Jay Shetty goes against the old-age adage of conquering your fears (sure that’s one thing) — Instead, he invites us to use our fears to our advantage, to not shy away from them, but rather form a strong bond with them.
Fear is an innate thing and helps us in many situations. Think back to the last time you came face-to-face with a Lion or a Bear — or the time when someone tried to assault you. Your fear triggered your mental response of fight or flight and your body responded accordingly.
Fear is unhealthy when we offer it the driver’s seat. As jay wrote, our real problem is that we fear the wrong things. In his book, he writes that fears offer us many opportunities to take advantage of. If we give in to that fear, those opportunities might never come our way again. You let your fear take control of you, or you control the fear.
Jay reiterates the need to recognize the fear patterns. When the fear kicks in and when the warning signs show up, we have to be aware and ready to take action. Whether that’s the tension over your exams or stress from work, there’s a certain pattern to fear that if we start to recognize, we can start to work on it.
Two amazing concepts that I read were attachment & detachment. We think of fear as though we are the manifestation of it. In the book, he writes it this way — “I am angry. I am sad. I am afraid”. To respond to this, try shifting, instead, to “I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel afraid”. We need to accept that this fear is temporary i.e. we need to detach from it. Once we attain this detachment, we can start to identify the source of the problem and take remedial action to solve it.
Favorite Quote:
“Find what you’re afraid of most and go live there” — Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters Remix // Fight Club)
Favorite Exercise — Rate your Fear
The purpose of this exercise is to find out how much something scares you. Acknowledgment is the first step towards improvement.
Draw a line with zero on one end and ten on the other. Now start imagining the worst kind of fear possible and outline them on this line. Think about your current fears and start comparing these. The goal is to find out what really scares you and what fears are just taking up unnecessary mental space. There are things that we think we are scared of but that are actually very trivial when stacked up against our true fears.
Let’s talk mindset next week too…
This will be all for today. Think Like A Monk has 11 chapters in total and in the next article, we will go over the remaining six. I don’t want to cause an information overload by sharing too much. I hope you liked this article. If you did, I would highly appreciate it if you could subscribe to the PlayTru Newsletter. It’s a weekly newsletter in which I’m covering topics like mindset, marketing, lifestyle, and entrepreneurship. I haven’t started sending out newsletters yet as I’m looking to build an email list first. Hope you understand.
P.S. Take care of yourself and your family. See you next week!
